I find I do some of my best writing in cafes. I also find that cafes are where attractive women come during the day. It’s hard to say which observation I made first. Sort of like a sexy chicken and egg scenario.

I think the appeal of cafes for women stems from the promise of caffeine and mellow alterative rock.  The caffeine provides a jolty pick-me-up, which the music helps to bring down, until they reach a certain female equilibrium (shequilibrium?) that has previously only been possible under controlled laboratory conditions.

 I would love to work at home, among my bathroom, DVR, and ample peanut butter supply, but I have yet to figure out how to get as many women to an East Williamsburg walkup (only the 3rd floor).

I’m not saying it’s impossible. It has been attempted before. The results of which can be found in the landmark Supreme Court case, Nudist painters V. Female NYU Undergrads et al.  If I’m not mistaken, Justice Ginsburg gave the dissenting opinion but, being a product of the more socially liberal 1960’s, her remarks were largely ignored in subsequent lower court decisions.

I think I’ve gotten a little off topic. What was I talking about? Oh right! The light, soy Frappuccino at Starbucks is way too overpriced.