Recently, my friend Kristin sent me a picture of a man who she claimed was my doppelganger.
I’ll admit, to the untrained eye, there are some similarities: we both sport a thin yet muscular physique, we’ve both bravely chosen to rid our beautiful scalps of unsightly hair, and we both stand somewhat awkwardly next to women in shorts. But beyond that, the similarities end. Here are the many differences:
1. It’s warm out, yet he’s not wearing a hat to cover his exposed head. Plus, no one is asking him if he went to the beach, so he’s clearly not wearing any sunscreen either. That’s a telltale sign it’s not me.
2. Is that a goatee?!
3. This one is just easy. His hair color is more of a fresh snickerdoodle whereas mine is a lightly toasted croissant.
4. Anyone who knows me even somewhat well knows how keen I am for free food. This guy is wearing a white shirt. Clearly, he doesn’t plan on doing any eating.
5. Look how far down his knee those shorts go. Why didn’t he just wear pants? For the record, this is how I wear shorts.