In light of Apple’s recent decision to fight the FBI’s request to unlock an iPhone, the news cycle has been abuzz with talk about the line between the national security and privacy. It seems only fitting that AlexSiegal.com throws its weight into the debate.
A United Front
We stand with Apple in our decision to also not compromise the security of our readers by fulfilling FBI requests for “back door” access to our site.
Now, it should be noted that the FBI has not made any requests for files or information from AlexSiegal.com, but it could happen any day now. We have a large and varied readership. It’s entirely possible that some terrorists have visited AlexSiegal.com.
What We Think Happened
NOTE FROM ALEXSIEGAL.COM LAWYERS: The following is purely speculative, but would almost certainly be the way it would happen.
In all likelihood, one low-ranking ISIL member found our site after Googling “Top comedians to watch who will soon be working for SNL” and shared it with a few buddies, laughing at the way AlexSiegal.com has mastered the language of comedy. It’s even possible they wanted to add a humor section to their propaganda magazine.
Unfortunately, a commander would have most certainly found out and executed them. It would have been at that time, security experts would probably argue, that AlexSiegal.com came to represent all that was good about America—and therefore everything a terrorist organization like ISIL hates.
All the chatter about AlexSiegal.com would have alerted CIA agents in deep cover and probably led to Operation Heroic Thunder.
That operation would have actually been a joint operation between SEAL Team 6 and DELTA Force to capture that ISIL commander in a nighttime raid and interrogated him. (We will assume in full accordance with NATO and UN guidelines, but that kind of speculation is really beyond the scope of this open letter.) After 2 months of interrogation, CIA contractors and Mossad agents in a secret German rendition center would have learned about AlexSiegal.com.
That, of course, is when the FBI would come knocking. They’d want to know the IP addresses of our users to learn just how many terrorists are currently active readers of AlexSiegal.com.
And that is where we would draw the line.
Help, Within Reason
If the FBI, NSA, or members of Black Ops ask us for something like an unused blog post, we would certainly provide that. But the hypothetical request for a “back door” to our site is simply a bridge too far.
We hate terrorism. It’s the pits. But there comes a point where we simply cannot betray the freedoms and ideals that our Great Nation was founded upon just to uncover a vast and intricate global terror network. And that is why we respectfully decline to fulfill the FBI’s request, should they have made one.
Thank you and God Bless America,
Global CEO, AlexSiegal.com